Happy Black Thursday to all! I definitely did the right thing and decked myself out in black dress pants, black collared shirt, a black tie, a black belt, and black shoes. It's the only way to roll.
Sometime today I had an epiphany (Smee would say an apostraphe). Girls do not date nice guys.
It's true. You know it's true and it's sad. So today we will talk about how to get a girl.
Step 1: Be very sneaky and manipulative. Make sure that the way you win her heart is a decietful one. They seem to like this. The more elaborate the lie, the more likely they are to believe it, the more likely they are to agree to the first date.
Step 2: Treat her like she is just an object. This seems to be something that works very well. It is unbelievable how many people will date a girl based on looks alone. Of course, this is where deciet comes in a little more. Make sure you lie to her and tell her that the reason you care so much about her is because of the way she laughs, looks at you, makes you smile, all those sappy reasons that you don't believe. They love to hear that.
Step 3: Make sure you hang out with other girls behind her back. Keep your options open. You never know when something better may come along and you have to be ready to snatch up that opportunity when the moment arises. Keep your cell phone filled with other girls phone numbers. You need to have a backup plan once you get bored of her. Of course, cheating is a forgivable sin for many girls, so if this is something you feel the need for, go right ahead. She'll never know, and if she finds out she won't care, and if she does care, your cell phone is full of other options!
Step 4: When things start going bad, lie. Always lie. Lying is stellar for making a relationship draw out for a longer time. This will enable you with enough time to get what you want, and then throw it away.
Well, there it is. I'm telling you, that's how girls often get treated. And yet they stay. And overlook the nice guy, who quite frankly, doesn't care to stoop to this level. But he will allow to be treaded on whenever the opportunity arises.
It's Balian, ya'll, and that's all I have to say about that.
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1 comment:
Matt, Matt,
The thing is the nice guys sit around waiting for the girls to make the first move and some of us refuse to manipulate and chase after guys. Last time I checked, the man was supposed to be the leader in the relationship. Whatever happened to a good old fashioned pursuit? So often these days its the girls who are pursuing the guys. I'm not saying I've never done it. I have. But it is something that society and hollywood and many "Christian" books have brainwashed us into thinking is the right way to do life, and it is something I'm definitely working on. The waiting is harder than you think. Believe me.
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